What to Do If Your Family Member Gets Scammed

A practical guide for the family member who just found out Finding out a parent, friend, or family member has been scammed is a very difficult conversation to have. They may be in denial, may not fully understand what (or how much) they lost. You may also be feeling a mix of fear, frustration, and helplessness. This guide is for you. Here is what to do, in the right order, to give your family the best chance of lightening the damage and preventing it from happening again. First: Control your reaction This might be harder than it sounds. When you find out someone you love has been scammed, especially if a significant amount of money or information is gone. The instinct is to express shock, anger, or disbelief. Those feelings can be completely understandable. Even so, expressing this directly in the first conversation may make everything harder. Scam victims, especially older adults, already feel an enormous amount of shame. They often blame themselves for getting scammed. If the first thing they hear from you is judgmental, such as "How could you fall for that?" or "Why did you do that?" They are less likely to give you the full picture, less likely to detail how much or what they may have lost, and less likely to reach out in the future if they find themselves facing another potential scam. Lead with empathy. It could truly happen to anybody. Start with something like, "I’m really glad you told me. This happens to a lot of people, and it’s not your fault. Let’s figure this out together.” Then move into action. Second: Get a full picture before continuing Before you call the police, before you call the bank, before you contact anyone, you need to understand exactly what happened. Sit down with your family member and go through the details calmly, making sure you do not reflect any judgment while they are explaining the story. You might need to know: What happened from the very beginning. When did the scammer make contact and through what platform did they do so? How much money was sent? and what was the method of delivery? Wire transfer? Online portal? Cryptocurrency? Cash drop? When did the transactions happen? These 2 steps are crucial for the best chance of recovering funds from your bank. What information did you give the scammer? (Social Security Number, Bank Account Numbers, Medicare Numbers, Passwords, Other personal details used to reset a password, etc) Do they still have any communication records from the scammer? Do not delete these. These are crucial for a report to your bank and to law enforcement agencies. Be sure to write all of these questions and answers down. All this information will be useful in a report to potentially recover funds and help catch the scammer who targeted and took advantage of your loved one. Third: Contact the bank immediately If any money was sent by wire transfer or taken directly from a bank account, call the bank right away. Time is the most critical factor in wire transfer recovery. After 48 hours, the chances of getting funds back drop significantly.

Tell them your family member was a victim of fraud. Give them every piece of information you have about what was sent, when, and where. Ask them to attempt to recall the transfer if it is recent. Ask them to flag the account for fraud monitoring. Ask about freezing or locking the account or cards while the situation is sorted out.

If your family member gave out account credentials or passwords, the bank needs to know so they can issue new account numbers and cards immediately.

If the fraud involved a credit card, call the card issuer separately. Credit card fraud protections are strong, and a disputed charge has a good chance of being reversed if reported promptly.

One important note on gift cards: if money was sent via gift cards, contact the issuing company — Apple, Google, Amazon, Walmart, (or whoever issued the cards) as soon as possible. While recovery is rare, some companies have been known to freeze card balances if contacted immediately before the funds are spent. It is worth trying. Fourth: File the reports

There are three reports worth filing. All of them are important, and together they give your family the best chance of contributing to an investigation and documenting the fraud for insurance or bank purposes.

FBI (ic3.gov) This is the Internet Crime Complaint Center and it is the single most important report for online and phone-based fraud. File at ic3.gov. You will receive a confirmation number

FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov)The Federal Trade Commission maintains a separate fraud reporting system. File here as well. The FTC uses this data to identify patterns and pursue enforcement against large-scale fraud operations.

Local police File a report with your family member's local police department. You may not think a local officer can do much about an international phone scam, and that may be true. But the police report number is often required by banks before they can process a fraud claim or issue reimbursement.

Fifth: Protect against follow-up scams

This is the step most families skip, and it’s one of the most important.

Once someone has been successfully scammed, their name and contact information often gets sold to other scam operations. Your family member may start receiving calls from people claiming they can help recover the money lost. This is a second scam designed specifically for people who have already been victimized once.

Make sure your family member knows: no legitimate organization charges a fee to help recover scam losses. If anyone calls offering to help get the money back, hang up.

You should also consider helping put a credit freeze on your family member's accounts if their Social Security number was compromised. This prevents anyone from opening new lines of credit in their name. You can do this for free through each of the three major credit bureaus — Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Enterprise Innovations delivers live scam prevention presentations to senior living facilities, senior centers, and community organizations across Southern California. To book a presentation for your community or learn more about protecting the seniors in your life, visit eisafety.org.